Mine is a little sparse as I am displaced at the moment, but the essentials are here. Watching the curfew and praying over friends and family in Minneapolis from a small town outside the cities.
My roommate and I had a talk about death today - what would happen if the house caught on fire, if we were shot, if we died. If we are ready, emotionally, financially, logistically. I thought maybe COVID would have helped me examine my own relationship with loss more. What if the buildings most important to me - churches, schools, dance studios, homes - were burned down. New Yorkers have lost so many people. Minnesotans have lost so much property. It’s not the same.
The last 24 hours have surprised me, at my ability to block out and busy myself to avoid fear. It’s been intense to realize how not ready I am for death and loss. Starting to also think... what values are worth losing for. Do you open the windows to hear strangers approaching, or close them to keep out the smoke? Would you choose property, or life? Did Cup Foods or the Minneapolis Police Department chose property over George Floyd’s life? Eric Garner’s? We start to think about weird things after 5 nights of no sleep, chaos, helicopters, and a metallic fire smell in the air.
As a Network, we are checking in on loved ones and sharing altar photos and stories on our group chat. I am singing Beautiful Chorus‘ Faith’s Hymn and water songs to Yemaya. Watching the sunset and waiting for a new day to begin. Phoenix. Transition. Veil.#georgefloyd#restinpower